Seriously speaking, I am so in need of some guidance here. As most of you know, I am single mom of three. My oldest has a father from one relationship and my two youngest have a father from my last relationship. Long story short he disappeared for about 2 weeks, he says 1 week, Jas says 3 or 4 weeks. So the dilema is that he has always been around. The kids are used to having him around all of the time. So I don't know what has happened recently. He kinda stopped calling and answering calls from my number. The reason I am setting this up for you is so you can have a clear picture of what I am about to tell you.
About two weeks ago we (the kids and I) were putting away laundry cleaning up the kitchen, etc. I asked Jas to come to me and I noticed she had tears in her eyes. I really didn't pay to much attention (she had recently got new glasses). I called her to me about 20 min. later and she just let it all out. She starts boo hoo crying telling me how much she misses her daddy and would like to spend so much more time with him. This just broke my heart into little bitty pieces.
This really took me back 20+ yrs. My parents were divorced by the time I was 4 yrs old and I had a mon-fri mom and weekend dad. I totally know what it feels like to miss papi! So when I saw her like this, I too wanted to cry with her. I remembered how my mom used to get frustrated with me, and say things like "well he's not dead so what are you crying about." So I was real careful not to crush her. (because this was the feeling I got when I was told this) I held her in my arms rubbed her prayed with her and was just her mom quietly until she calmed down.
Junior is only 2, but he says things like, this is my daddys keys(holdong my car keys), wakes up in the morning asking for his daddy. (just this morning) What's my answer you ask, "your daddys at work". I get that they are supposed to spend time with their dad. I really do. It's not fair to them though to be so hurt by his inconsistensies. They saw him around nov 9, then I took them over there dec 20, Jr spend christmas day with him, and then around Jan 9 was the last time they really saw him or spoke with him. This prompts me to protect them and not allow anyone to hurt them like that anymore! I know I cant keep them apart but how can I avoid this pain for my children that in turn pains me! I've talked to God about it so now I'm really just venting, and asking for a good word from my family. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lead not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

nutrition mission

This is probobly one of the hardest blogs I will ever write. My nutrition mission. I've heard so many people say that thet battle with it to. Some are thin heavy at an ideal weight. Whatever. It is defenelty my giant. I 've been in battle my whole life. My mom has always taught me healthy eating habits. I've treid weight watchers twice. Once when I was 11 yrs old and again last year. It's great it teaches you how to choose and how much. My problem is being and staying consistent. I lost 30 lbs and gained it right back with a vengance!!!!
I went to see a nutritionist on the recomendation of my doctor. With me its not so much how I look or what I wear. It's more of a health issue. I have little one's. I need to be around to see them live their lives and be there when they need me. It is painful for me. I feel convicted from all aspects of my life. I work for cardiology group, My church family is very health concious, and I don't want my children growing up having this issue. I also want to be around to see my family grow and not be a burden on them. Atleast as far as I can help it.
So far so good though I just have to learn how to live for the day. Take it for what it is and move on, strive for a better day when it gets there. Tomorrow is not promised to me. So I have to live the healthiest day I can for today. By the way it has taken me a week to write this short very short entry.

PHEW! Back To Normal!

Ok so I know most of you will agree, Thank God the holidays are over. It is exhausting. I think I am finally caught up on my rest from all the house hoping/family visiting we did! I think I want to start brushing up on some hosting skills because I really want to start staying home and relaxing like on Christmas day and New years eve. All of my family members so it and I'm the one that ends up here and there. It's sooo much fun hanging out with fam but totally tiring!
I am totally looking forward to going back to my normal routine. I think my children are secretly looking forward to it as well. I actually waited on the holidays to finish to start potty training Junior because they are with my sister one week and then my dad another and back and so on. So whats the point right, so we are also on that now. Yay, he's doing pretty well. Jasmin's super stars classes were put on hold for a whole month. So I love the holidays because of what it represents the greatest gift of life and a new beginning! I am just glad we are all back to normal life again!