Seriously speaking, I am so in need of some guidance here. As most of you know, I am single mom of three. My oldest has a father from one relationship and my two youngest have a father from my last relationship. Long story short he disappeared for about 2 weeks, he says 1 week, Jas says 3 or 4 weeks. So the dilema is that he has always been around. The kids are used to having him around all of the time. So I don't know what has happened recently. He kinda stopped calling and answering calls from my number. The reason I am setting this up for you is so you can have a clear picture of what I am about to tell you.
About two weeks ago we (the kids and I) were putting away laundry cleaning up the kitchen, etc. I asked Jas to come to me and I noticed she had tears in her eyes. I really didn't pay to much attention (she had recently got new glasses). I called her to me about 20 min. later and she just let it all out. She starts boo hoo crying telling me how much she misses her daddy and would like to spend so much more time with him. This just broke my heart into little bitty pieces.
This really took me back 20+ yrs. My parents were divorced by the time I was 4 yrs old and I had a mon-fri mom and weekend dad. I totally know what it feels like to miss papi! So when I saw her like this, I too wanted to cry with her. I remembered how my mom used to get frustrated with me, and say things like "well he's not dead so what are you crying about." So I was real careful not to crush her. (because this was the feeling I got when I was told this) I held her in my arms rubbed her prayed with her and was just her mom quietly until she calmed down.
Junior is only 2, but he says things like, this is my daddys keys(holdong my car keys), wakes up in the morning asking for his daddy. (just this morning) What's my answer you ask, "your daddys at work". I get that they are supposed to spend time with their dad. I really do. It's not fair to them though to be so hurt by his inconsistensies. They saw him around nov 9, then I took them over there dec 20, Jr spend christmas day with him, and then around Jan 9 was the last time they really saw him or spoke with him. This prompts me to protect them and not allow anyone to hurt them like that anymore! I know I cant keep them apart but how can I avoid this pain for my children that in turn pains me! I've talked to God about it so now I'm really just venting, and asking for a good word from my family. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lead not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

nutrition mission

This is probobly one of the hardest blogs I will ever write. My nutrition mission. I've heard so many people say that thet battle with it to. Some are thin heavy at an ideal weight. Whatever. It is defenelty my giant. I 've been in battle my whole life. My mom has always taught me healthy eating habits. I've treid weight watchers twice. Once when I was 11 yrs old and again last year. It's great it teaches you how to choose and how much. My problem is being and staying consistent. I lost 30 lbs and gained it right back with a vengance!!!!
I went to see a nutritionist on the recomendation of my doctor. With me its not so much how I look or what I wear. It's more of a health issue. I have little one's. I need to be around to see them live their lives and be there when they need me. It is painful for me. I feel convicted from all aspects of my life. I work for cardiology group, My church family is very health concious, and I don't want my children growing up having this issue. I also want to be around to see my family grow and not be a burden on them. Atleast as far as I can help it.
So far so good though I just have to learn how to live for the day. Take it for what it is and move on, strive for a better day when it gets there. Tomorrow is not promised to me. So I have to live the healthiest day I can for today. By the way it has taken me a week to write this short very short entry.

PHEW! Back To Normal!

Ok so I know most of you will agree, Thank God the holidays are over. It is exhausting. I think I am finally caught up on my rest from all the house hoping/family visiting we did! I think I want to start brushing up on some hosting skills because I really want to start staying home and relaxing like on Christmas day and New years eve. All of my family members so it and I'm the one that ends up here and there. It's sooo much fun hanging out with fam but totally tiring!
I am totally looking forward to going back to my normal routine. I think my children are secretly looking forward to it as well. I actually waited on the holidays to finish to start potty training Junior because they are with my sister one week and then my dad another and back and so on. So whats the point right, so we are also on that now. Yay, he's doing pretty well. Jasmin's super stars classes were put on hold for a whole month. So I love the holidays because of what it represents the greatest gift of life and a new beginning! I am just glad we are all back to normal life again!

Interruption or Blessing?

Hi, Everyone, This week has been a hectic one. Last weekend I moved my stuff out of my apartment into storage, and moved in temporally with my Dad & family. Thank God for family. So yeah, big time interruption right in the middle of the holiday season. My mother is also coming into town tomorrow who was planning on staying with me for a couple of days. Oh, did I mention my Dad lives in Miami like 5 minutes away from M.I.A, and I work and the kids go to school in Hallandale.
Okay so know that you have an idea on how my week has been here goes the story so you can understand. My step mom and sisters have been seeking Christ and a home church. They have been looking for a home church for about a year. So we have all been praying for this for them. So, Yes!, finally they have a home church. My little sisters now are participating in small groups, and even hosting one of them! They are reading ALOT! And this evening my sister and step mom went to a christian concert at American airlines arena (which by the way is sold out!) They took me to this awesome christian bookstore in Miami. We have been sharing different things and bonding in a way that only God can do! (did I say that right?)
Some people have been questioning my move, because they don't think its going smooth enough. So, they're like oh maybe you should just stay where you are at. NO! So God, made it so
I can see his work. I guess sort of like here Glenia look, I heard you I am listening! It's awesome, God is big ladies and gentleman. The way he has moved in my family is amazing. So In my life this has been a blessing disguised as an interruption. Thank God for the word he gave our Pastor Troy. Anyone one else would have been like UGH! Living with others! So far away! On a sleeper sofa. The God that lives in me has shown me how blessed we are. How big he is. So I just picked up the keys to my new place. I will be moving in this weekend. I am so Thank full! It's huge!

A child's innocence can be so enlightening in our complicated adult world!

Yeah, I know pretty long title! It just came to me cus if I put too much though into my title I will be here all night long. So I've decided, ( with a lot help from my sistahs and Pastor Troy's teaching) that I am going to stop complaining and focusing on how good God is to me. He is very good. I made a decision that I will not allow the enemy to take residence in my mind!

So I've been in prayer repenting, praising, praying for others, with my children. People if you've never experienced it try it Prayer really changes things. So a brief story before I get into the innocence thing.

I had been feeling overwhelmed with me moving, the holidays around the corner, the cutbacks at work, just life in general. The same things everyone else is going through. I was even being short tempered with my kids. I realize they have no fault or take any part in the dealings of this world. So the enemy is all in my face and I break! (sigh) So I share with one or maybe 2 of my sistahs and I know they got to praying quick, cus I mean it was almost as though the very next day I started feeling better. Finding avenues to release the stress. Started back praying, and putting my faith in God and asking him to take the reigns.

So, today Tuesday 11/24 at about 7 pm Jasmin my 8 yr old princess, Says to me, " Mommy can we look up 1 chronicles 16:34?" Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Slapped with the holly hand! Her innocence is full of faith. Its amazing how complicated we make it. When its so simple in black and white! Be Thankful, he loves us and its never ending! Thank you God for my children's heart after you! Thank you for surrounding me with your angels, weather they are supernatural or in the flesh. Thank you ladies and gents who are so faithfully praying for each other! Thank you for not letting me do life alone!

Baby Dolls?

OK, so I hope I don't offend anyone, or seem small minded. I don't think I am, being that I am sharing and all. So Junior my 2 year old plays with everything, I mean from Johnnie's sports equipment, to Jamins baby dolls and bracelets, to his own action figures and race cars.

My 13 yr old son, doesn't like that I let him play with baby dolls, all he basically does is undress them leave them laying around and plays with the barbie car. He occasionally plays with Lil' Jasmin, Jasmin's' (my 8 yr old daughter, who thinks its annoying) baby doll. I read somewhere, I think in a parenting magazine that, boys who play with baby dolls, get practice, therefore become great fathers. What do you think? So just to clarify as I said before, he does not only play with baby dolls. He plays with everything!

Those of you that know him, he is totally all boy! I do get the comments though, especially from his father. You'll do everything to let him be qu**r! Personally I don't think so. He's a little boy and just wants to have fun all the time! I mean all the time!

Patience

With everything that has been going on in the world, my patience has been so short!? this is one thing I had prided my self on really working on and it just seems like its all down the toilet. Things that never really got to me, really get to me now. What up with that?
Managing a home and three kids at 13, 8, and 2 has always kind of just flowed, and came naturally. If its not homework not being done with one or trying to enjoy dance with Jas, I just feel overwhelmed. I don't know if its because the holidays are around the corner and the economy is bad. I just know I really don't like being so short tempered and impatient. I am diligently praying for Gods peace and tranquility. I pray that he get in the midst of this situation that I can't pin point, but I know he can.
Don't get me wrong I can so see his blessings, and can see how he has set things up in my life to work out for me in the long run. Like now! My kids are awesome, they help out around the house, for the most part, do the things they are supposed to like homework read, pray, especially for MOM!
So this is my first blog and am starting to actually feel better. Thanks for hearing me out!